I Get It

Jesus once told a parable about the kingdom of heaven. A few actually but this one is a really short one. A man once found this awesome awesome treasure in a field. He was so excited about it that he put it back, sold everything he owned and bought the field and then took joy in his treasure. (Matthew 13:44) What I never understood was why this fella put it back and then went and bought the field. What happened to finders keepers? Was it someone else's field? Why sell everything he owned to buy that field if he only truly wants the treasure?
That always bugged me because I wanted the guy to just take the treasure and keep on living. Then i realized this the other day. The kingdom of heaven, the joy of Jesus is this treasure. Life with him is this treasure. It's this amazing, wonderful secret that once you've found, you do not want to lose. It is so precious that you are willing to give up your whole life for this secret treasure. That's the key. You give up your life and all your belongings for this treasure. You give up your life for Him. You cannot have the best of both worlds and live for yourself and God at the same time. Either we're with Him or against Him. The sad thing is that so many of us only get a glimpse of this treasure and want to hold onto it and all of our other stuff as well.
This treasure outweighs anything that we could ever own. You lose your life and gain His. It's such an awesome, unfair trade that only God could truly do. We give our messed up lives and gain his innocence. What grace.
I need the humility and faith to keep giving my life for Him. Keep my eyes on this treasure. For His glory, not mine. I get it now.

Open My Eyes

Isn't funny how we can do wrong with full consciousness of everything at that single moment?
How we can stare into the face of the right thing and simply say No?
Doing the right thing is hard, especially when the the wrong thing looks so attractive. Our eyes put up blinders to everything else and its all we see.
It's weird when you think about it. Knowing something is wrong, knowing it will turn out wrong, knowing it will hurt later, but doing it anyways. Knowing it's sin, but somehow thinking we can dodge God this time, just this time.
The wisdom of man is foolish. Our moral scars are there to prove that.
I just find it wild that we still fall into these traps after all of our bruises and cuts. We still love to get hurt. That's the honest truth.
We look for advice, we get advice, we look for the tricks and tips, but put us in the game of life and we're like dumb animals. We can't remember anything and run into walls.
I almost feel like having more wisdom wouldn't really help me something. Because I'll just throw it out at my convenience.
I was told a few times that I give good advice. Yet life would be so much easier if I just followed my own advice.
Right and wrong get confused only after I deliberately do the wrong thing.

We are odd creatures. Very odd. Shake a carrot in front of us and we'll go. Put up a pretty picture and we'll run into the wall. Shine something bright in a dark room and we'll follow it, ignoring everything else.
I hope we learn eventually to open our eyes.

Don't Ever Go To the Movies With Me

I'm Serious.
I can't remember the last time I walked out of a movie theatre just laughing with my friends. Even when its a comedy.
I think the last time was when I saw Hoodwinked. Now that was a GOOD movie. Watch it. its hilarious and really cute.
But really. I walk out of movie theatres silent. Always. something like that anyways. I think about it. Hard. Deeply?
Yes, i ruin the fun, cuz while everyone else is laughing about that one scene, i ponder about it. Stupid.
Dave's right. I relate every movie to my life. I know, that's really self-centered. but no. I can never leave it at the theatre. I can't. I think about it. Who does that anymore? Really.
Every movie has a message. I take it to heart. I think about what people are getting out of it and how it reflects the view of the public in certain ways.
Lately, I've been seeing situations from my life in movies. I don't know if that is good or bad. Probably bad. Most likely. But it's freaking me out here.
It's like seeing a mirror sometimes and going, "Ooooooooooooooooooooh!"
Maybe it's just me. It probably is.
But who knows. It doesn't even matter really.
Have you ever stared at the wall or something inanimate, and just thought about nothing? It's as if you're trying to think of something to *think* about, but you can't find the *thoughts* Does that make sense? You just have a feeling or vibe of some sort. Like you should be thinking about this one thing, but don't know how.
It's like trying to say something but not knowing what to say or how to say it... but in a mind process level (?)
Maybe if I think really hard, this weird feeling in my mind/gut will evolve in thoughts and maybe eventually words. That's what happens. It's pretty rare actually, but odd when it happens.
It's funny how movies can sneakily tuck a message into your head along with those laugh out loud scenes. They are clever, aren't they? Them movie-making folks.
Words are hard. If you really want to know what/how I feel, ask me to turn on a song that defines. I will ace that baby. In my head it will fit flawlessly. Though, to you, most likely, not so much.
I like honesty. It's nice. And what's honest is the fact that things will almost always not turn out the way you'd like/think it will go. Is that a double negative? Something of the sort.
I do enjoy the movies. I really do. But my two free tickets ran out so I will most likely not go to the theatre again until either
a) 5-6 months
b) my parents take me
c) i go on a date (coughnotlikely)

But please, share your thoughts. On either how you feel/felt after watching a certain movie, or a moment when words fell short or both. Or anything else. Please. I really am interested.

*by the way I usually write with a lot more intelligent language. I'm mostly smart. I promise.